Everyone might not notice but I am actually having a little depression about the decision I have made for the past few months. I have not yet mentioned anything about it to my family because I don’t want them to worry and they probably will feel bad about me having this state of mind. You know, depression is something I don’t think I would have. I have only thought about having a little frustration and I know I can completely recover from it anytime because I have friends and a family that I can talk to.
This time is different, even at this point, I am not comfortable telling stories about the reason why I feel depressed. There are stories in our lives which is better kept alone. I have all those things probably in every aspect of my life, that is why I am feeling doomed, obliterated and worst – unhappy.
Three years ago, my wife and I lived a very comfortable life. We have everything we needed and all the good things a couple could wish for except for some time. The only problem is that we have not thought about our future. We did not give a little time talking about what we were supposed to do with our lives. Yes, we have been thinking about our future but we never really planned about it. When the “opportunity” knocked on my door, I grabbed it and thought I would succeed with it since I know that would be the only chance for me to give my family a bigger bacon. The odds have been so negative and that opportunity that I was dreaming for have vanished. I was a bit sad about that news since I left my corporate job for that opportunity, my wife also has left her teaching because our son needs someone to take care of him. Making me the only person earning something for us. I just want to think I should be thankful since I have a pressure-less day job. A normal office job which has a minimum wage ticket. Right as of this moment, I am deep in despair thinking about the opportunity that has lost. I have done everything to provide my family which I think is what a man should do. I moved away from them thinking I would save enough money for our future.
I’m not supposed to write dramatic stuffs but this is just so eloquent of me. Three months ago, I have realized that everything that I am attached to are losing. Making it the additional stress factor. Can’t possibly finish this one, I am annoyed right now. I want to run and go to places I know no one would recognize me. I’m not gonna post my plans here, that’ll remain a mystery.
Right now, all that I am thinking is to eliminate debts, save cash and work harder even though I know I look dumb and drunk in the public. The hell cares?